May be...

May be, just may be all I need is some time,

Time to calm this storm within me,

Let the dust settle down,

To see the damage more clearly.

May be, just may be for once let them be,

The strong gushes of family pressure,

The society’s benchmarks of what’s ideal,

The sand glass of age moving speedily.

May be, just may be for once see me,

Without your preconceived notions,

Don’t judge me on where I have stumbled,

Focus on the fact that I stand tall still.

May be, just may be try and be there,

You don’t need to agree or understand,

This is my journey and I’ll find my way,

Don’t try to lead me.

May be, just may be become the anchor of my ship,

My questions are not looking for your answers,

And even if life’s thunder strikes me down,

All I need is for you to just hold me,

Nothing more, nothing less,

Just be…

Dreams and uncertainty

We’ll leave this town baby you and I,

In search of our paradise.

Nothing to fear, with love by our side,

We’ll leave this town baby you and I.

Two weeks left for us to go,

My bags are packed, and your wheels all set to roll.

We are sitting at the diner, with drinks in our hands,

I raise a toast to our adventure; you look away from my eyes.

One week to freedom, I breathe in the fresh air,

You sit by my side under a cloud of despair.

So, I hold your hand and look you in the eye,

I ask for a reason, you say you are unaware.

I walk up to your door, with suitcase in my hand,

You greet me with a smile that spells goodbye.

We drive to the gas station, with just my suitcase in the trunk.

I buy a single ticket to my paradise.

I’ve left this town baby, it was just me

In search of my paradise.

With everything to fear, just hope by my side,

Left this town and my baby behind.

I’ll live our dream to the t,

For I am still the same gal you met over a drink.

With time you changed, it wasn’t me,

All you left me were some dreams and uncertainty.

When my life froze

The sun rises and sets every day,

Yet I don’t feel the ushering of a new day.

The world moves past me in vigour,

Yet my breath is shallow, there is no change in me.

The numbers change in the calendar,

Yet there is no newness it brings for me.

The world is brimming with stories,

Yet I am deaf to the million dreams.

Your smile is the sun shine that breaks my dawn,

Your touch sets motion to my life.

Your voice gives life to new stories each day,

Your laughter resonating a million dreams.

Without you meanings are lost to me,

Without you the purpose I cannot see.

Just the sense of standing still,

Waiting for the day you will come and set me free.

Yet to complete...

I am trying everything within my reach,
To maintain a distance that's more than a feet.
I have placed my heart in a fortress heavily guarded,
But your smile has eroded its walls and found me defenseless.

Like a junkie on a high I am addicted,
Planning my next fix of the drug named you.
Aware of all its fatal consequences,
I know there is no Rehab yet to get over you.

The silent voyager

Travelling in the sea for endless years,

The sails are tattered yet fighting its fears. 

A day of shine and nights full of storm,

The ship silently carries on.

In search of shore for eternity,

Its lost its captain and its crew.

Yet it travels the lonely stretch,

To mend what little of it is left.

With everything lost to the sea,

It belongs to nothing, nothing belongs to it.

The termites of melancholy feeding on it,

This ship is doomed to be forever lost in sea.  

Beyond the eyes

A blank sheet of paper staring back at me,
The words but seem shackled to my heart.
A wide open road calling me ahead,
My feet but seem glued to where they are.
There is hope and faith waiting across the street,
The barbwires of fear but seem to hold me.
 I paint a smile and put on my dancing shoes,
The showers of tears but seem to expose the gash on my face.
I cover myself with the cloak of prayer,
The winds of hurt but seem to penetrate my soul.
So I play the role of a vagabond,
Conceal my scars with the colours of laughter,
Waiting for someone that can see beyond the exterior,
The eyes of presumption but seem to be waiting to disappoint me yet again.

Rain and Shine

The sun is shining and the clouds are gone,
I feel the warmth smiling down on me.
The wind whispers sweet nothings,
The daisy seems to dance for me.

 I step ahead and join the fun,
Jive to the rhythm of your heartbeat.
And that’s when I lose my step,
As shadows make their presence felt.

The snow has melted and spring is here,
There is colour sprinkled everywhere.
Butterflies flutter in my heart,
As you wrap your arms around me.

I close my eyes and dream away,
Your voice a lullaby calming me.
And that’s when I startle myself awake,
For I’ve run out of places to hide shattered dreams.

I wish I could capture these moments in a picture,
I wish I could find the perfect words,
But chances are no longer for me to take,
And this wall around me even I cannot break.

Embrace Reality

With eyes shut to reality,

How long will you live being delusional?

With a dead end waiting at every street,

How many routes will you invent to avoid its permanency?

When the rose tinted glass breaks,

Who do you blame, for your reality was your fantasy?

When every action reflects the inevitable,

For how long will you turn your gaze away?

In the absence of a confession,

Will you justify someone’s actions to pacify your doubts?

When the silence speaks what’s unspoken of,

Will you pretend to be hard of hearing?

When all the signs begin to tell the story,

And your heart will deny the truth,

Let yourself burn in flames of reality,

Than die a million deaths of melancholy.

Attraversiamo

When the wind caresses you,
When the rain kisses your lips,
When the moon watches over u at night,
Know its me.

In the laughter of a kid,
In the smile of a blossomed flower,
In the rays of the sun,
You will find me.

In the stillness of the night,
In the rhythm of your heart beat,
In your dreams and fears,
I will be there.

Where words run out,
In the realms beyond time and space,
Wishing on a falling star,
I shall wait...for you where worlds meet again...

When Heroes Fall...

A realization eventually dawns,

The idols we grow up worshiping are nothing but facades made of clay,

And when life rains they merely break and crumble,

All you can do is helplessly watch them wash away...

What is worse?

I question myself at times,
What is worse?
Living without you in my life,
Or with your memories surrounding me all the time.

What is worse?
To live with the joy of having loved you,
Or with the fear that I may never stop loving you.

What is worse?
To live with contentment of having known you,
Or the anguish of knowing there never will be someone like you.

Fading light… fading dreams…

A pen in my hand and a tornado in me,

I am unable to control its vigour.

Words come out in mumble,

Thoughts all unclear, trying to get a grip of reality.

I don’t recognise myself,

Or dreams that once used to be.

My eyes are open, my body awake,

But somewhere in a slumber my soul is yet asleep.

I search for a sign, something to connect,

What was to be and what has become of me.

I try to scream and wake up again,

But my voice seems to be a distant memory.

Feels like I am caught in a nightmare,

Trying to wake up and break free,

Looking for that one straw to cling to,

Before the tornado within destroys me.

Silence .....

There stood the Rose blossoming each day,

He watered her, he watched her grow.

She gave in all to see the smile linger on his face.

But he never once told her how much the Rose meant to him.

She waited each morning to be with him,

She waited for the day the smile would transform into loving words.

Never doubting his feelings but longing for some signs,

But he was a man of few words and for him expressing was a crime.

As days passed she grew a little tired,

He still watered her and watched her grow.

Her longing created a vacuum within and a bit of her got sucked in each day,

He saw his Rose withering unable to grasp what was missing in his care.

And finally one morning she was no longer there,

He dropped on his knee with the can of water lying on the floor.

He held the Rose in his hand and a tear escaped his eyes,

And whispered the words that could have saved the love that had died.

The Dustbin

A crumpled piece of paper lying in the dustbin,
Discarded away to be lost in oblivion.
Never to be read again,
Left to rot in the hands of time.

The content on it being my past,
Memories of days gone by.
Torn from my book of life with my own hands,
Pages that I do not wish to read again.

Better left to be buried with time,
Forgotten as the days pass by.
Like the crumpled piece of paper in the bin,
Lies my memories,moments and sins.

UNKNOWN..

Some questions don’t have an answer,

Some puzzles have no solutions.

Some roads have no destination,

And some stories don’t have an end.

Some moments cannot be explained,

Not everything has a reason.

Some relations cannot be evaluated,

Logic is not always your friend.

Away from the crowd

Finding a place under the sun,
A place to rest my burdened soul.
Sitting in my solitude,
The silence a balm to my aching heart.

Just a face trying to fade away in the crowd,
Drowning my thoughts in each wave.
Accompanied by memories of a distant past,
Familiar faces lost in the hands of time.

The sound of the waves against the rock,
Is the shattering of each dream.
But the horizon gives me hope,
For I know there is a lot more to see.

* These words have been inspired by the image above.

What I want….

Simple things in life,

The innocence in a child’s smile.

A goodnights sleep,

The sound of your mother’s voice that is like a lullaby.

Dancing in the first rain,

Walking on the beach,

The smoothness of sand against your feet.

A cup of tea and a friend for company.

Watching the sun set in the horizon,

The evening breeze caressing your face.

Away from the bustling crowd,

With no responsibilities thrashed upon your shoulders.

For once I want to live it all,

Breathe life to the child that is dying within me.

For once I want to have it all,

Go back to being carefree.

The spark from life has gone,

Running after a dream seems like chasing infinity.

I don’t know what I have become,

All I can see is the wall that I have built around me.

An Insomniac's World

Yes, you got it right. I am an insomniac, turning my sleepless night into a journey of the unknown for the last two years, now. Initially I thought it was crazy, just the thought of lying awake the whole night when everyone had entered their dreamland and here I was still waiting for my entry ticket. But as days rolled by I realized my ticket was to stay on the waiting list for a long time. And I guess am still waiting for my confirmation.

It’s strange to feel this way, feel like an outcast not being able to enjoy something as simple as a goodnight sleep. Wondering why am I deprived of something that every other soul in this world is entitled to. But I guess some questions are supposed to get lost in the oblivion.

Now it’s just become a part of my routine, staying wide awake in the stillness of the night and all you can hear is your own heartbeat. I try to be optimistic and tell my self this is a gift, some extra hours for myself. How many of those in their slumber would have killed to have got some extra hours in their hectic life. Don’t we hear everyone complain as to how little time they have?

I’ve tried it all; little tricks and tips to help me sleep. Trust me everyone has an advice for you, once they know you are an insomniac. Some told me I need to stop thinking, some said a glass of warm milk would help, reading and listening to soothing music were other advices that came my way. Well, did it work? The answer is No, am still an insomniac. It kind of became a topic of conversation amongst friends when there was nothing left. Oh, so how is your sleeping problem? Better? And by now I had learnt the art of evasion, just a simple smile that would do the trick. End of the topic.

It really doesn’t bother me any more. I am starting to like it instead. I sit by the window and look out; gradually the lights go off one at a time. And within an hour its just me by the window and the streetlight, and of course a few stray dogs barking. But even they don’t stay around after a while. And thus my journey begins.

My mind goes off wandering and I try to invade people’s dreams. Lovers in arms walking around, talking about future and happiness. Disheartened souls living the life where dreams have become reality. Departed ones coming to meet their loved ones may be the final visit. Estranged lovers going back in time to fall in love all over again. Everyone trying to hold on to this moment where life is the way they always wanted it to be. For once the dream is over reality strikes you like the thunder. I see the calmness that floods their faces like a soothing wave on the shore. For they all know that this is the only time when rules, regulations, gravity, laws mean nothing to them. There is no time, no dimension, illusion or reality. All that’s left is the dream which you wish was reality.

And finally I hear the birds chirp, and the stars starts to disappear. As if to signify the awakening of each soul and the departing of their dreams. The golden rays flood the horizon, bringing in another day.

As for me, an insomniac I look forward to another night of stillness, where the silence shall be my music and the heartbeat my sole companion. And I shall hop from one star to the other being a part of everyone’s dream.