An Insomniac's World

Yes, you got it right. I am an insomniac, turning my sleepless night into a journey of the unknown for the last two years, now. Initially I thought it was crazy, just the thought of lying awake the whole night when everyone had entered their dreamland and here I was still waiting for my entry ticket. But as days rolled by I realized my ticket was to stay on the waiting list for a long time. And I guess am still waiting for my confirmation.

It’s strange to feel this way, feel like an outcast not being able to enjoy something as simple as a goodnight sleep. Wondering why am I deprived of something that every other soul in this world is entitled to. But I guess some questions are supposed to get lost in the oblivion.

Now it’s just become a part of my routine, staying wide awake in the stillness of the night and all you can hear is your own heartbeat. I try to be optimistic and tell my self this is a gift, some extra hours for myself. How many of those in their slumber would have killed to have got some extra hours in their hectic life. Don’t we hear everyone complain as to how little time they have?

I’ve tried it all; little tricks and tips to help me sleep. Trust me everyone has an advice for you, once they know you are an insomniac. Some told me I need to stop thinking, some said a glass of warm milk would help, reading and listening to soothing music were other advices that came my way. Well, did it work? The answer is No, am still an insomniac. It kind of became a topic of conversation amongst friends when there was nothing left. Oh, so how is your sleeping problem? Better? And by now I had learnt the art of evasion, just a simple smile that would do the trick. End of the topic.

It really doesn’t bother me any more. I am starting to like it instead. I sit by the window and look out; gradually the lights go off one at a time. And within an hour its just me by the window and the streetlight, and of course a few stray dogs barking. But even they don’t stay around after a while. And thus my journey begins.

My mind goes off wandering and I try to invade people’s dreams. Lovers in arms walking around, talking about future and happiness. Disheartened souls living the life where dreams have become reality. Departed ones coming to meet their loved ones may be the final visit. Estranged lovers going back in time to fall in love all over again. Everyone trying to hold on to this moment where life is the way they always wanted it to be. For once the dream is over reality strikes you like the thunder. I see the calmness that floods their faces like a soothing wave on the shore. For they all know that this is the only time when rules, regulations, gravity, laws mean nothing to them. There is no time, no dimension, illusion or reality. All that’s left is the dream which you wish was reality.

And finally I hear the birds chirp, and the stars starts to disappear. As if to signify the awakening of each soul and the departing of their dreams. The golden rays flood the horizon, bringing in another day.

As for me, an insomniac I look forward to another night of stillness, where the silence shall be my music and the heartbeat my sole companion. And I shall hop from one star to the other being a part of everyone’s dream.